Mirror Mirror

Living life can go to two different extremes.

You can just do without a thought. Be in the moment and only the moment, never contemplate just act.

The other extreme is termed hyper-reflection. The past is your home. You relive every moment and it's as if you are in between two mirrors seeing yourself going on endlessly.

Well, this is what the existentialist Robert Camus believed. I think it carries some validity.

I am more on the hyper-reflective side at this point. It's kind of dangerous. Looking into the past too much can force you to relive things and forget what is really going on in your life.

Things are pretty fantastic for me right now and I'm doing well. For some reason I have decided to look back into one of the most unhealthy relationships I have ever had and reminisce. I really shouldn't. Neither of us were good for the other.

I guess what I am getting at is that I need to start living in the moment more. Granted, being holed up in my sister's apartment for the week watching movies is not what I'd call living. When I get back to Missoula, I've only got 5 weeks left. I really need to make the best of it.

I have never had such a great group of friends that I trust and care for so much. I need to savor that while I have it and store it up for the long summer of work at Target and a severely stunted social life.

On another note. I have watched eight movies since being here.

Day 1:
1. Singin' in the Rain
2. Lilo and Stitch
3. Can't Hardly Wait
Day 2:
4. Grosse Point Blank
5. Ella Enchanted
6. Say Anything
7. Mean Girls
8. Aeon Flux

Yeah, that's a lot of movies. The I had seen all of these movies before excluding Say Anything. I was very impressed. It was a great love story and very genuine. The part I liked the most is that is didn't seem like the usual interchangeable romance. I get so sick of new movies and how they all follow such a formulaic pattern. I loved that uniqueness of John Cusack's character, along with his costars.

It's been awhile

Due to a newfound interest in this blog I just might write in it more often. The audience is a little smaller, which is nice.

In less than two hours I will officially be 19. Can't say that I'm not excited. Yet, it's not for the reason of my age changing. I'm more pumper to have a fun day. I love to hang out with my friends here . . . who knew?

There are positives about being home in Great Falls, but I do think the Missoula positives do outweigh them severely.

I had a bit of a shock when I got back. Going from no life whatsoever to BAM friends all over the place was pretty disconcerting. I made a few poor choices and wasn't on my best behavior. I think things are looking up.

I think I have come to the conclusion that no matter how much better someone's life looks to you, it isn't. Granted there are some people who are definitely outliers(Nice stats term huh?), but on the whole most everyone has something about his or her life that he or she is not happy about.

I'm pretty happy at this point. I've got a cute boy that I like, and he seems to be liking me back. I'm not investing too much into it . . . but I am enjoying the time I spend with him, even if he is a bit of a bed hog.

I have been pretty sick for the past few days. It's quite unpleasant and I definitely wouldn't mind feeling better.


Time to sleep . . . .